Sunday, August 21, 2016

Crash Day

I have had a streak of good days. I have had energy. I have been able to think straight. I got some projects done and did yoga 4 days in a row. It was wonderful.

The only downside was that nagging knowledge that it wouldn't last. Good days are wonderful, but they are always followed by a crash.

This morning I thought I was still riding the good wave. I got up a bit before 10 and thought maybe I would head to the grocery store after my morning coffee kicked in. I did my usual morning things, had breakfast - and crashed. It is what I call a failure to launch. Even with the coffee there is a bone-deep exhaustion that I just can't kick.

I ended up going back to bed after breakfast and slept 3 more hours. I had some more coffee and felt a bit better. The nagging pain in my ribs and back were fading (If I do my yoga stretching too many days in a row it triggers my costochondritis) and I felt a little more awake. I played games for a bit and had lunch - and crashed. My arthritis would not fade. It is still doing it now, that deep, severe ache that doesn't move or change whether I'm moving or lying down. I tried to walk it off, but my ankles were full of grating sand and the pain just wouldn't go down. I had to take extra pain meds and then I ended up taking a nap for another two hours.

I got up in time to make dinner on schedule. I ate, crashed in front of the TV (I couldn't focus well enough to read) and fought the desire to go back to bed. I am still fighting it, and my joints are still hurting and I am trying hard to keep the physical crash from turning into a mental one as well.

I guess I can take hope from the fact that I had several good days before the crash instead of the usual one or two. I can hope that it means I am improving. Only time - and a bunch of sleep - will tell.

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