Sunday, July 30, 2017

Dazed and Confused

It never ceases to amaze me just how easy it is to mess up the routine that keeps me functioning. This past week my Dad's schedule changed from Friday through Monday to Saturday through Tuesday. This, of course, completely messed up my comprehension of what day of the week it was. Yes, I look at the calendar in the kitchen regularly, but my Dad's work schedule is a constant that help me keep track.

Well, I was totally confused all week. I thought Tuesday was Monday, that Wednesday was Tuesday, etc. I didn't have any appointments so it wasn't a huge deal. But on Saturday I had my monthly appointment to get my hair buzzed off. First off, I don't usually see Nikita on Saturdays, but she had been on vacation so I had to move the appointment from my usual Thursday or Friday. So, double confusion. I went for my appointment and, like always, I felt good and relaxed afterward (she includes an awesome scalp and neck massage). Naturally, I didn't feel like going home yet so I decided to stop at Target and pick up a couple of things.

Yeah, Friday at 2 p.m. is the perfect time to shop. Saturday at 2 p.m. is a complete madhouse. I started walking through the store and I couldn't figure out why it was so busy. It was an absolute crush with babies crying and people pushing their carts every which way. It didn't take long for me to reach total overload. I couldn't remember what I had gone in for and I was shaking so bad that I dropped my cane twice. The second time I had trouble picking it up because people were just walking over it. One lady tried to just push her cart over it and gave me a dirty look when she couldn't. Another lady sent her son - probably about 6 years old - over to pick it up for me. I smiled and said thank you, and then made my way slowly to the cafe at the front of the store.

I was shaking so bad by that time I knew I couldn't drive. Fortunately the cafe was fairly empty and I got a smoothie and just sat at one of the tables, focusing on the cup and nothing else until I finally started to calm down. It was then that it finally occurred to me that it was Saturday, not Friday, and I wanted to kick myself for being so brain dead.

I must have been sitting there with that smoothie cup for at least 40 minutes. I got a water to go and made my way to the car. I sat in the seat with the AC going while I drank the water and then finally felt OK to drive. I got home, took my anxiety meds, and then crashed for a couple of hours. Even after the nap I felt drained and confused. It had been so long since I had been overwhelmed like that I had forgotten what it felt like. I have become a pro at knowing when the slow times are to shop or go out to eat. The trick is knowing what day it is.

I am feeling better today. I still haven't done much - I didn't have enough focus to paint or read, I just played mindless games on the computer and watched TV. It's like my brain is still shaking even though my body has recovered.

So ... note to self ... double check what day it is before going out.

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