All Sorts of Therapy

Two months ago I had a horrible mental crash. I was having severe pain in my upper back and the doctors diagnosed me with scoliosis - yet another chronic condition that causes me daily pain. I was absolutely crushed and desolate and it put me closer to suicide than I have been in quite a while.

The diagnosis meant adding yet another doctor to the list, this one a pain specialist. I was REALLY reluctant to see him because some pain specialists are basically legal opioid dealers. I did not want to add to my medication list and opioids are out of the question because they make me hallucinate.

I was lucky and the pain specialist I saw was a good one. He did give me a new medication - a muscle relaxant - to use as needed if the pain got really bad but he cautioned me not to use it all the time. And the first thing he had me start with was physical therapy.

The physical therapy is probably the best thing to happen to me in more than a decade. The first few visits were bad. I even ended up canceling one appointment because I was overloaded. I was out of the house more in 2 weeks that I had been in the previous 2 months - and that is not an exaggeration. But the place is open and not crowded and all of the staff are absolutely amazing. At one visit I started to panic and one of the therapists took me aside, got me some water, and just sat with me until I calmed down. If I am having a bad day pain-wise, they are willing and able to adjust my therapy so I don't overdo it.

Six weeks later I am doing much better. I am still in pain - my arthritis is killing me today because a storm system is moving in - but I have a lot more energy. And it is helping me mentally because I am actually doing something. I am able to fight and act and DO SOMETHING to help myself feel better.

On the mental health front, my mom finally took matters into her own hands and set up an appointment for me with her therapist. My search for a new therapist stalled out and I haven't known what to do and where to try. She said that he might not be a good fit for me, but he might be able to point me in the right direction. I had convinced myself that I didn't need a therapist any more, but in reality I was just scared to go through the whole search thing. I have had so many bad therapists in my life and Shannon was so wonderful, I believed that I was better off without one. But I really do need someone to talk things out with, so the search begins again. .

I have my follow-up with the pain specialist this Wednesday and we'll see where we stand. Right now it is time to put on my shoes and head out to physical therapy. Catch you on the flip side.